Twilight Sparkle Does Not Like Bees
by Honey Mead
Summary: Celestia is a wise ruler and a great teacher. Her methods, however, can be a little unorthodox. Twilight Sparkle is any teachers dream student, but she really doesn't like bees.


Twilight entered The Royal Gardens alone, a private sanctuary for the princesses, even their royal escorts were not allowed admittance. A stone marked path lead into the Gardens with branches leading to different groupings of flowers and a few fruit bearing plants. Padded benches lined the paths for when one of the princesses chose to stop and rest amid the beauty.

Cantering excitedly down the different paths, Twilight searched for her mentor. Though the Gardens were not 'large'-given the standard size of a room in the palace- that didn't make them small or any less like a maze. It took her a quarter hour to finish searching the Gardens, or rather, to finish searching the area of the Gardens she had any desire to enter.

The note summoning her had been a simple one and delivered by a palace messenger. An invitation to meet Princess Celestia in the Royal Gardens.

Living in the palace meant that Twilight had a statistically higher probability of seeing and speaking with her mentor. Unfortunately, statistics did not always translate into reality... she'd already written angry letters to the heads of the math department in C.S.F.G.U. complaining about that oversight.

Her excitement at receiving the invitation had been extreme. Up until that point she'd been working on... Taxes.

Twilight hated taxes.

This might seem odd to the casual observer. Twilight is, after all, known for her studious nature, her love of math, books, and digging through old forgotten tomes of ancient knowledge lost in the depths of the most untraveled sections of the Canterlot Archives. That taxes have the unfortunate tendency to fall into that particular realm of reality would be the exception that proves the rule.

Little known to most sane ponies, for what should be obvious reasons, the _Equestrian Aggregate Tertiary Ancillary Tax Judication's_ were conceived during the period after Luna's banishment. It is a widely held belief that Celestia was not intimately involved in **The Code**'s creation and had sloughed it off to a rather sadistic minor noble in her grief. This belief is held almost entirely by the residents of the Canterlot Mental Health and Wellbeing Institute-formerly the Equestrian Tax Bureau's head office. But only one pony knows for sure.

It had never been reviewed. Until now.

The wrong word overheard by chance. That was all it took to drag the newest princess down into the depths of the Canterlot Archives. Finding **The Code** had been simple enough-carrying it to a table was another matter. Five hours, two pages, and one migraine later left Twilight wondering how anypony knew what they owed and who made sure they paid it.

Then the courier showed up and saved her from herself.

Twilight hesitated, staring down the-not quite-foreboding trail. Turning around was still an option. Forget the message and return to **The Code**, attempting to play it off the next time they should meet. The prospect was enticing and Twilight almost turned around... almost.

Two things stopped her, however. The first was her memory. Next to a certain pink party pony, Twilight had one of the most accurate memories in her generation, recalling facts and figures from books she'd read once, years ago, while half asleep cramming for the next mornings exam. Second was her completely, utterly, terrible poker face. Of everypony she knew, only Applejack was worse at lying. She didn't know how Celestia would react and she never wanted to find out.

Steeling herself, Twilight began to trot down _that path._

She saw her. Celestia stood in the small clearing at the back corner of the Gardens... surrounded by bees. Not a few bees, a few bees she could accept, a few bees could be found hovering around every flower in the Gardens.

No, she wasn't surrounded by a few bees, she was surrounded by swarms-with an emphasis on the 's'.

Twilight did not like bees. She wasn't _afraid_ of them. It wasn't like she _hated_ them. Truth be told, she loved them. They were an absolute necessity for the continued existence of Equestria. Bees accounted for half of Equestria's crop production, no farm had less than three hives on its property-Sweet Apple Acres had ten. Bees were wonderful, and honey was merely a glorious side benefit. A hive was even hanging from a branch of the library back when she lived in Ponyville.

That did not mean she **liked** them. Any pony who'd had the... misfortune of being on the wrong end of a stinger held a healthy respect for the miniature anger management dropouts. Being attacked by a rampaging swarm once was more than enough, thankyouverymuch! Not being allergic did not make it hurt any less!

For the few times Twilight had needed to disturb the hive hanging from her library she always came prepared with the necessary gear to provide adequate protection. Celestia, it seemed, did not.

The tall white alicorn stood proudly over the three white, shoulder high, boxes wearing not but a simple veil over her head. Though her horn was lit, the golden aura did not work at anything except the tools and frames floating around her head as she inspected the hives.

Twilight inched only close enough to ensure that she could be heard over the fracas of beating wings. "P-Princess?"

Celestia turned to her student and smiled. With careful movements of her wing, the princess motioned toward the ground to Twilight's left. "There is a veil for you, _Princess_. You wouldn't want one to find its way into your mouth."

Twilight blushed at Celestia's slight rebuke, old habits die hard.

Looking down, Twilight spotted the wide brimmed hat with the drop down veil and lifted it in her field. With the minimalist protection in place Twilight swallowed back her fear and crept forward. Even with the veil guaranteeing no bees would find her face, she couldn't help but to pause and duck everytime a bee buzzed by on its way to find more flowers. Every step brought the new alicorn closer to gathered swarm, every step caused the small hairs of her mane to stand straighter until she was certain that it was now a mohawk.

Still, she pushed forward. The promise of knowledge was too enticing, the sight of hundreds, if not thousands, of bees crawling all over Celestia's white coat couldn't keep her back-though it made a valiant effort. She couldn't help imagining them on her own coat, inspecting her fur, looking for the perfect place to jab their hellish little nightmare stingers. It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't entirely her imagination.

Five bees had already landed on her! She looked down and froze in terror. One of the little demons was on her shoulder, it's wings pumping every few seconds to produce that all too distinctive buzz. The urge to swat it crept down her spine and she struggled not to follow through, it would only guarantee the sting. Her horror only increased as her eyes were drawn to its pulsating abdomen, always on the verge of pumping venom into her sensitive hide.

"Do not worry, Twilight, they will not sting you."

"How can you be sure?" Her voice was weak, could Celestia even hear her?

"Do you trust me?"

What? How could she ask that? Of course she did! How could she not trust her? She was Celestia, a Princess of Equestria since as long as any pony but she herself could remember, raiser of the sun, teacher, mentor... friend.

But these were BEES! Tiny demons with wings and serrated daggers of venom pumping terror built into their butts! All it would take is a single misstep, one errant flap of a wing. A single sting and she'd be running for her life... again!

Her wings twitched sending three new arrivals tumbling to the ground. Twilight stepped back, ready to bolt. Her panicking eyes caught the princess' gaze and she froze again. Did she trust the princess enough to walk_ into a swarm of bees_? What if she didn't? Would Celestia be unwilling to teach her anymore? Could this be the end for her, all because she refused to stand on the precipice of hellish agony?

Using the breathing technique she learned from Cadence, Twilight steeled herself and stepped forward, entering the swarm.

There Twilight stood, flank to flank with Princess Celestia in the terrifying epicenter of a spinning black and yellow storm. Her breath came in shallow puffs and she shook like a leaf in a particularly bad storm. She knew that at any moment the first sting would come. The first sting, as bad as it would be, would be not but the herald. With it would come the attack pheromones and every bee would be driven to follow suit to protect the hive_**s**_.

She had to get away now before something changed. Flying was out, the chance of catching a bee between her wings and barrel was too great and the displaced air would only anger them more. Teleporting was out, the hundreds already clinging to her coat would be carried through the **between**-and she had no idea what that would do to them. Running, however, running was good, she could spin and run and be safely away before they knew she was even there.

Only she was already there, the warmth of Celestia's wing settling across her. "Tell me, my faithful student, what do you know of the apiary social structure."

Twilight closed her eyes, fighting past the desire to whimper and the sensation of being covered in bees, to recall everything she knew about them. "B-B-Beehives c-consist of three basic t-types of bees," Twilight said, slowly gaining confidences as she dug through her memories. "The w-workers, the drones, and the queen. The workers make up n-ninety-nine percent of the population and are responsible for almost everything that happens in the hive. From collecting pollen and nectar, to building the hive, to making honey; it's all the workers. The drones are the males and serve only in reproduction, they lack st-stingers. The queen is singular in the hive. She directs its activities and lays the eggs. All her needs are seen to by the workers."

Twilight opened her eyes to see a smile that she knew all too well. It was small, just too big to be called tiny. The same smile that came every time she gave an answer that was both one hundred percent correct, while still completely wrong.

In all her years as Celestia's pupil she had never been given an answer. Never had Celestia told her the information to figure out the answer to a problem. No, Twilight was the student, it was her job to figure out the answers, Celestia was only there to guide her down the right path.

"Tell me, Twilight," the Princess said, scraping excess wax off the hive, "how do bees communicate?"

"Through dances and pheromones."

Celestia pulled out a new frame of comb. Covered utterly in bees it looked like a moving, buzzing, carpet more than anything else. After carefully inspecting the bees themselves, she gave the frame a practiced flick and the two thousand bees dropped, most catching themselves mid fall and flying back toward the hive. "Continue."

Once again, Twilight lost herself in lecture mode. "Bee dances are a complex set of patterns that communicate the location and amount of a particular flower that has been found. As reports come in from the scouts the harvesters are sent out based on the that information. Pheromones serve a more basic and immediate function. The queen produces a constant pheromone that let's all the bees know that she is alive and well. The workers also produce a specific pheromone that identify them as part of the hive. When they sting or are killed they produce a unique pheromone that serves to mark the target and draw the others to defend against the threat."

Celestia was quiet for a time, as she worked the hive, removing the next frame before replacing the last. Twilight waited as patiently as she could. Things had gone well so far, though she was covered in bees, none had gotten around to starting the inevitable attack. To distract herself Twilight tried to figure out how Celestia was so calm. Was she immune to the venom? Did she not feel pain when she was stung? Were Alicorns immune to, or in some way protected from, the bees?

When the next frame came out Celestia made a small sound of approval. Turning the frame to Twilight, the younger mare flinching away from the thick carpet of buzzing, Celestia's magic illuminated a single bee on the frame. Easily twice the size of the bees surrounding it was the queen. "Does the queen dance?"

Gathering herself Twilight began to answer on reflex, but stopped. It wasn't that she didn't know the answer, she did. The queen did not dance. It would be impossible, the moment she started laying eggs she was literally surrounded by caretakers who saw to her every need. They fed her and cleaned her and even removed her waste. But there, glowing right in front of her eyes, she realized something, something so plainly obvious that it never registered.

The queen did not rule the hive.

She was the most important single bee, to be sure; she provided stability, a center around which the workers all rotated. Like the eye of the hurricane, she defined the hive... but she did not direct the winds.

"No... she doesn't."

Celestia smiled again, warmer this time. She'd reached the proper understanding, learned the lesson being taught. Only... that wasn't it at all. There was still something she wasn't getting.

The frame pulled back, returning to the hive. "Tell me, Twilight, how long do bees live?"

"A worker lives for three months or so. Throughout their life they progress through almost every job within the hive. Starting by nursing the newborns until they finally drop from exhaustion out harvesting."

"And the queen?"

"Roughly five years."

"Then what happens?"

"Her pheromones will begin to weaken. The workers will sense this change and make a special cell to hatch a new queen to replace her..." Twilight's voice faded out and her brow furrowed as she finally caught up with the words leaving her own mouth. She looked up at Princess Celestia.

Neither princess spoke as the elder worked and the younger thought. Celestia was meticulous and careful, cleaning each frame before returning it. The only sound the constant buzzing of bees flying out to find flowers or returning with what they had harvested. Twilight forgot her fear, too lost in her own mind to notice even if she had been stung.

With the last frame set in place, Celestia closed the final hive and turned to Twilight. "If I may make a suggestion, Twilight?"

"Yes, Pr-Celestia?"

Leading them away from the slowly quieting swarms, Celestia said, "Leave the E.A.T.A.T.J.'s to the bureau."

"How did-"

Celestia smiled, draping an affectionate wing across her pupil's withers. "Come, Princess Twilight Sparkle, for there is still much you need to learn."


End file.
